Reblogged from Source of Inspiration:

Life is complicated only because we make it so. Does a butterfly sigh and moan, “Life is so hard”? Be a butterfly; leave your need for drama in the past

Love this! Life is what you make it.

The Magical Moment that Could Change Your Life Forever

I have to stop and laugh at myself. This is supposed to be a 365-day journal that began back in July. Obviously, I have not written every day; but, I have made the conscious decision and commitment to my readers to not sit down and force words onto the screen that are uninspired and frivolous, And while I respect both the readers’ time and mine, I also honor and cherish my gift within—writing. So let us continue with day 8.

Even if you are not one to follow the daily news, I am sure by now in some way you have heard of the Occupy Wall Street movement. God bless them for exercising their right to protest, I suppose. Lord knows, I have not been especially thrilled with what has been transpiring in theseUnited Statesfor quite some time. However, this piece today is not to judge, support or condemn the movement, but to set the stage to ask a strong and powerful question before each reader. Why and why not?

We, the people, complain about the government: either its lack of progress or its far-reaching, massive intervention and intrusion. We complain about Wall Street and the rich, conniving fat cats. We criticize our employers and their oppressive ways, grumble about our neighbors, our enemies, our everyday pathetic lives, and anything else believing and feeling we are merely, powerless, mortal beings. But, are we?

Each and everyperson holds the power for change and fortune for their life in their own hands. You might argue, not so. You may debate Wall-street executives are greedy, aren’t creating enough jobs, and rule the world. We realize countless graduates are leaving their colleges and universities with huge debt and there is no work to pay back their massive debt. You are correct.

The Answers Lie Within

The unemployment numbers are oppressive and at an all time high. We’re being told by the media, at least the network I listen to, unemployment is at 9.6% (at the time this article is being published) but honestly, it’s more like 17.1%. Many have fallen off the grid. Graduates and some small-business owners have never been counted. There are individuals who are definitely hurting. But, have you ever had the fleeting thought that maybe, just possibly, we might be able to do something about our lowly situations ourselves?

Have you ever given any thought to the reason behind you or someone you know losing their lousy job paying pitons? No one is ever “paid” what their true worth. Is it possible the passion for the position was lost? Possibly more road-blocks and hindrances were brought to the table than solutions? Did you give your employer 110% but the powers-that-be believed you were extinct, paying you too much? Maybe you didn’t play the political game well enough? Or, could it be the Universe, whom I call God, knew you were never, ever going to dig down into the well of your soul until you got a grand kick in the grand behind right out of the company’s grand front door?

You have skills, knowledge and experience as well as innate and inherent talents and gifts. There is not another person like you on planet earth. You are unique and superb. All you need is to stir up the gift or gifts within your core to reach your explosive potential. Realize your power. Own your power.

So you got fired. So what! Your company let you go. Great! Celebrate! You can’t find another job; you’re in debt and under water. Fantastic! What is it that you can do to bring change to your situation? What do you do well naturally? What excites you?

Here are some other precise questions you may want to apply to your life today. What do you whip up in the kitchen that makes people knock on your door every time they get a whiff while passing? “Honey, I was just passing by and smelled you cooking (fill in the blank).” You can start cooking and selling that right out of your kitchen or your church charging only a few dollars until you can afford to purchase a little cart. Go from the cart to a storefront, paying cash, if possible.

Love to bake and it tastes delicious? Hello. How do think Mrs. Fields Cookies got started? Are you great with a needle and thread? Do you know how badly some people hate to repair a hem, sew a button back onto a blouse, or mend a seam? I’m one of them. I render the garment useless banishing it to the bottom of a drawer or closet.

And here’s an idea that just popped into my head. Those outfits that people banish just because they need mending, you can ask for them, repair them and then setup a little thrift store, right in your living room or back yard in warmer climates.

Do you love to help others look beautiful? Well, don’t complain that you can’t afford to open a shop; you can become a mobile hairdresser, manicurist and pedicurist offering the service in the privacy of your clients’ homes.

Why wait for someone to empower you? Why take the victimization path? I don’t know about you but I’m frankly done with the whole disempowering, disabling, disenchanting position.

Why knock yourself out day after day seeking an indentured servant’s position—oh come on, you know it’s true—that is only going to pay you enough to get by? Maybe! Why seek a position you’ll hate getting up and going to each and every flipping morning—a job that will have you living for the weekend possibly filled with alcohol, sedatives, or illegal drugs to dull the experience.

Why not live an inspired, joy-filled, abundant life? Let me ask you again. Why not? Don’t you deserve to live life in its completeness and fullness? Why not sit quietly asking and seeking guidance from within? Asking for guidance outside of you hasn’t worked. As Dr. Phil would ask, “How’s it working for ya?” Honestly, neither the government nor corporate can provide your life with long-term, satisfying solutions.

Why give the so-called evil corporations, government or anyone all your personal power? Isn’t it obvious their only goals are to make themselves more powerful and more rich (which I believe is a corporations duty) while you become more dependent upon their meager distributions becoming less and less powerful. Why not look to the God within and use what has been divinely given you for your personal success?

There are many things that stop us from seeking the divine design within. I would say fear is probably the most common denominator. May I suggest you take the moment, right now, and inquire within? Why and Why Not? Go ahead. Find yourself a comfortable, quiet place in the house. Become relaxed, still (you can find out how to engage in simple meditation here) and ask, “Why am I not worthy of a happy, successful, and abundant life?” Why not do it? It may possibly be the magical moment to change your magical path forever.

I don’t know how many times in recent months I have talked to dear friends and associates about current events in our nation only to receive the same answer every time, “I don’t watch the news anymore. It’s too depressing.”

This is absolutely true. It is incredibly depressing. Here’s just a few of the headlines as I write this piece: Secret Government Banks Financing More Solyndras, Massive Search Underway for Endangered Girl, Disaster Recovery Projects in Limbo Despite Senate Budget Deal, Death Toll Rises to 13 in Listeria Outbreak, the Deadliest in a Decade.

By the time this piece is completed, edited and posted the above will not be news. It will not be current events but a stream of senseless mishaps of the past. Unfortunately, for many more, they will be events not ever known.

I used to be one of those people who believed if I watched the news, I would be flooded with negativity and not able to function for the day. I believed that the news of the day was bad energy, bad karma, and no good thing would come to me. Not knowing how to protect and cleanse myself from the negative energy, I believed I was doomed if I listened to what the media was reporting.

Today, I have come to learn how to protect myself. And, I now believe it has been a concentrated ploy to bombard us with huge doses of negativity so that we first become desensitized and then we simply turn off and choose to ignore the calamities of our neighbors, the senseless wars taking our children’s lives, and the severe level of depravity our nation and our world has reached.

I now believe that it was a plan to detach us, isolate us, leave us ignorant and ill informed so that the powers that be can easily invade and infect our simple little lives and we would be clueless but oh so happy and so enlightened. And while I could write my rant today about any of the tragedies and calamities we have chosen to ignore in the headlines the last few days, I write today about our youth. It is the story of the declining values of our youth that tug at my heart.

Only a few short weeks ago a group called The Barna Group (serving the information needs of the church by offering statistics, resources, seminars and custom research on current cultural and spiritual trends) reported “…nearly 50% of young adults surveyed said ethics and morals are based on ‘what is right for the person.’ The new study shows a significant divide between the nation’s young adults and its older residents.” Well, I’m not too sure about the significant divide but what I do know is we, adults, have chosen to give up and check out.

On September 28, 2011 headlines read, Seven Student’s Arrested in SAT Scandal. The article went on to read,  “Sam Eshaghoff, 19, of Great Neck was arraigned on charges of scheming to defraud, criminal impersonation and falsifying business records, according to the Nassau County District Attorney’s Office…. The six students whom Eshaghoff stood in for, names not disclosed because of their ages, were arrested on misdemeanor charges.”

With all the crap going on in our nation why did this one tug on my heart? Why am I not upset about our economy? Truly, I am but what upsets me more is we have turned off to what is happening to our societal youth and turned on to Facebook, Twatter, as called by one of my evening drama-series characters, and other mind-numbing, time-consuming social media, online games and distractions while life as we know it is quickly eroding.

Am I disappointed with what I believe to be the decline of morals and ethics? Yes! But that is where each and every man will have to give account for his own soul. What I am more perturbed about is the fact we have failed our youth. We have failed to show them right from wrong. We have failed to be the models of good behavior. We have failed allowing Dr. Spock to tell us to reason with our toddlers. We have failed allowing government to take control away from us, the parent, who works as a slave to give their child everything they need and more.

We have failed in teaching our children to respect authority while the government, the police and the justice system, now teach. We have failed to chastise for fear of an on-looker, who has never had the royal opportunity of being a parent, turning us in to Social Services.

So on Wednesday, September 28, 2011 police officers of Great Neck, New York walked into college arresting Mr. Eshaghoff to teach him right from wrong. Eshaghoff had sat in for six high-school students receiving thousands of dollars. The six high-school students were arrested and charged with misdemeanors.  You can read the FOX News report here. When a news reporter asked a fellow college student about the incident his remark with a huge grin on his face, “It’s a great business.”

What have we become? I’ll give you a few suggestions.  We have become a nation whose values are compromised, weakened and then compromised some more. We have become a society where right has become politically incorrect and wrong is the acceptable trend. We have become a society where intrinsic values are shunned at the expense of our children—a nation where our children are the sacrifice upon the altars—the abomination of abominations.

While there is still time, let us once again, truly engage our children’s lives—loving teaching, and nurturing. Let us not be afraid to teach them right from wrong or discipline them with love in love. Let us not be afraid to read, research and comb the pages for truth so we are an informed people knowing exactly who and what agencies want to slowly strip away the intrinsic values of this nation.

Individuals, who give their power over to any person or group, any trend, at anytime who follow the herds of comfortable and complacent zombies eventually wind up with what they deserve—victimization and a lost society that ultimately perishes.

When I was a little girl, my wise dad, a WW II Veteran, used to say, “Daughter, America won’t be taken by an outside enemy, she’ll collapse from within.” I would laugh, of course. America had its problems, but it was strong; it was still the land of the free and home of the brave. However, four decades later, if we fail to provide integrity-filled modeling for our children showing what is right, wrong, good and evil; if we continue to model money as our all powerful God, I’m afraid my dad’s words will become prophetic. And that my friend, is an unfavorable score for us all.

It has been quite a few days since Day #5 of You Are Not a Victim. A day is a thousand years to the Lord so I’m early.

If you have been following any of my writings or read anything on any of my blog sites, you have come to realize that I am not one who glorifies victimization. I believe that each and every one of us has the power to: get wealth, prosper, thrive, and live an abundant life. You know that I believe if you believe you are a victim, than you will be just that. I believe thoughts lead to feelings, feelings lead to actions and our actions give us a result each and every time.

                                                Thoughts ——–> Feelings ——–> Actions = Results

Here’s a simple scenario for you ladies:

Thought:       Hmmm he’s late from work, again. It’s the fourth time this month. He’s probably cheating that no good, lying …..

Feeling:         Anger, depression, low self-esteem, restlessness, fear, suspicion/distrust

Action:          Yelling, screaming, checking mates pockets or cell phone, lack of communication; fear-based decisions,

Result:           Destroyed relationship, possible divorce, hurt children if any, broken hearts/family

Now ladies, or should I say victims, how many times has this happened? How many times have you jumped to a conclusion before you gave anyone an opportunity to explain their actions? Now, let me make this perfectly clear. I am not talking about a situation where you are being abused either emotionally, physically, mentally, or sexually. In those situations I always only have one reply and that is, “Get, the Hell Out!” I am, however, talking about situations where we choose to always be the victim whether it is in relationships, careers, or life in general.

Do you know anyone who always seems to have drama, always in some type of battle? They might be battling

The Great "I AM" - Scotland

with a spouse, child or employer. They sometimes contrive these battles of the mind where they’re fighting some invisible force or entity. Why is it that bad things seem to happen to some good people all the time? If God is good, and I believe He is, where is the manifestation of goodness?

I believe in and practice the, “I AM” theory.  Here’s how it works. When Moses said to God, “Indeed, when I come to the children of Israel and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they say to me, ‘What is His name?’ what shall I say to them?”  And God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.” And He said, “Thus you shall say to the children of Israel, ‘I AM has sent me to you.’” As you can see, I am also a believer in Holy Scripture.

Let me take this one step further. God said, I am who I am. Now, this next statement will make some of you angry. But, at this point in the game of life for me, I really don’t give a rip. I hope making you angry will shed some light on your pitiful victimization. So, stating this simply, If God is in me, and I believe he’s in each and every one of us since everything is God; and, I am in Him—I cannot be separated from my source, than the “I AM WHO I AM” applies to me also.

                                     When I say, I AM broke—voila’, I AM.

                                     When I say, I AM powerless—amazingly, I AM.                                                                                                                    

                                     When I say, I AM sick and tired, magically, I AM.

What if I began to believe, I AM Good? If God is good and all that is in Him and through Him is good, then am I not good? Is all that surrounds me through Him, by Him not good?

Let’s use our Thoughts ——–> Feelings ——–> Actions = Results model. Here we go:

Thought:          God is good; thereby, I AM Good!

Feeling:            Increased esteem, confident, peaceful, motivated, blessed, resilient, filled with faith

Action:             Move forward with confidence: write a vision plan or business plan, change careers, exit toxic relationships

Result:              A purpose-filled abundant life

It’s very easy to throw around cliches. In fact, we often use them without really ever thinking about or having any real understanding of what we’re saying leading to nothing more than rhetoric.  If God is good, let’s reap what His goodness has in store for us. I’d even go one step further- let’s each and every person become His Divine Goodness seeing goodness in others, letting it magically unfold allowing us to leave our victimization(s) behind to embrace and live a life more abundant.

Day #5 You Are Not A Victim

Why is it that some individuals are able to make it out of the ghettos and inner cities, and are quite successful, while others get carried out, literally? Why is it that someone like me, who went to P.S. 43, Burger Jr. High School 139, and graduated from the worse public high school in the Bronx, Morris High, by choice, has been able to succeed in Corporate America and life. By the way, Morris High School is the same public school General Collin Powell graduated from.

My teachers stunk. They were politically liberal leftist and I spent much of my senior year “walking out” protesting the Vietnam War. We were clueless. We had no concept of the cause or any idea of what was really going on. We were getting out of school and that was ignorantly cool to us. Useful idiots are what Glen Beck calls students who are used. And, that’s exactly what we were.

I had a French teacher, by the name of Monsieur Weiss, who literally put his hands on all the girls’ behinds as they went up to the chalk board. That’s right-right in front of the entire classroom. There was no running to the principal. There wasn’t even any running home to your parents. In my neighborhood, if you ratted you paid the price. It didn’t matter the crime. So, you learned to either defend yourself, shut up or got beat up.

It wasn’t until I was in college that I realized how far behind my inner-city education had left me. And yes, there were plenty right-winged, conservative colleges desiring, in fact, throwing scholarships at poor students in the inner cities. There were football, baseball, basketball, volleyball, swimming, and even academic scholarships. Colleges were providing opportunity if you showed just a little incentive. Those who wanted to take the victim path called it exploitation when it came to the sports scholarships. Those wanting a way out of the inner city called it opportunity.

For anyone not interested in college or too bored to memorize the dull facts needed to pass the SAT, there was the military. Those who wanted to take the victim path said the man just wanted to kill off young black men. Those young men who wanted to serve proudly and saw it as a means to escape the concrete jungle saw it as a way to learn a skill, get experience, purchase a home and further their education when they got out. They knew their odds of dying on the front line in Nam were no greater than dying on the streets of New York City.

How is it that people like Luther Vandross, Jennifer Lopez, Ralph Lauren, Regis Philbin and Justice Sonya Sotomayor, and me made it out of the Bronx, New York and others died from drug over-doses, alcoholism, and heinous crimes? Is it because we were rich, privileged, had the right color eyes or were better looking than most?

Or is it possible we were persistent, tenacious, and tougher than nails? Is it possible that when we got kicked and rolled, we got back up again just like one of those rubber punching bags. Is it possible we didn’t blame others for our falls but took a hard look at ourselves first? Is it possible that even though we subconsciously battled with our own esteem, somewhere deep down inside our very souls we believed we were worthy? Is it possible we had to learn to compete, outperform, and practice relentlessly to rise above the crabs in the basket?

Could it have possibly been a growth mindset that says, “I failed this time; but, what might I do differently to succeed the next,” verses, “I failed because it was my teacher’s, mother’s, father’s, boss’ fault?”

Can the difference between a social victim and a social contributor be something as simple as attitude: social victims believe everyone owes them something and social contributors don’t want anything from anyone? They want to create their own path, control their own lives, and take responsibility for themselves.

Growing up in the South Bronx was damned tough; but, if I had to do it again, I would.

It taught me to be strong emotionally, mentally, and even physically. It taught me to look out for myself and have my friends’ backs. It helped me realize the truth from lies and rhetoric. It also taught me if I wanted something to go after it with unrelenting tenacity–never giving up and never giving in. It taught me that no matter where I came from, no matter how tough it gets the choice is always mine to make – social victim or social contributor.

Ephesians 6:10

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.

It’s easy for someone to tell you how important it is to leave your victimization behind. It’s easier said than done. Isn’t it? I’d like to share a few victimless steps that have assisted me. Remember. I am confident if you follow this path, are consistent and dedicated you will begin to actually live the life of victor.

Ready? Here you go. Now remember, don’t start and stop. Take one step at a time. Put one foot in front of the other, every day.

Become Aware – You must first become aware of the dysfunction, unhappiness, and chaos in your life. I like to call this the drama in your life. Here are a few questions I’d like you to contemplate.

1. Are there traumatic, stressful, debilitating, and catastrophic events always occurring in your life?
2. Are you always worrying about something and when there’s nothing to worry about, you worry because you don’t have   something to worry about?
3. Does the crap rolling down hill always hit you?
4. Are you often asking, “Why me?”
5. Are you always the martyr, always the victim?

You need not share your responses with anyone, but the next step to finding your road to healing, your road to abundant living, is honesty. If you can’t be honest with yourself then who can you be honest with? Bill Watterson puts it this way. “It’s not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.”  Humorous? Yes. But, not when it begins to negatively affect your finances, impede your happiness and stifle your abundance. Why pretend you’re fearless when you’re fear-filled? Why say you’re free, when you’re oppressed? Why say and recite truths when, in reality, there is very little evidence that what you’re reciting is having influence. Is it just mindless utterances you are in the habit of quoting?

Once you’re honest about what you’re wrestling with, get an understanding. If you struggle with debilitating fears, attempt to get to the root. Did the fear come from mom, dad, or another authoritative figure? If you settle in your relationships, work, or affairs ask why? Usually this stems from low self-esteem. How do you really feel about yourself?

Don’t be afraid to go inward. The answers lie within. Yes, God is Almighty, All Creator. Yes, He is in complete control. But, it is also finished. It is my belief that all things have been prepared. It is either finished [completed, ended, done] or it’s not. This means your path, your life-purpose has already been created. It is up to you to find it. You were not created to be a victim. You have the power, all the power you’re ever going to get. You have the authority and ability to co-create for your life. Thwarting responsibility—either waiting for God or othersl—can leave you needy, wanting, and powerless. Go within. Find the God-given power within. Be relentless. God power is in each and every one of us. Empower yourself.

Take Action. While God helps those who help themselves is not an actual Scripture, in every example of Christ healing or helping others, an action was required. For example, the woman with the issue of blood had to press through the crowd and touch the hem of Christ’s garment. The blind man spoken of in John 9, after Christ made a mud/saliva salve and put it on the man’s eyes, he was told to wash in the Pool of Siloam. Even when there was no affliction but a party, action was required. Christ’s first miracle of turning the water into wine, Mary, His mother told the servants to do whatever He, the Christ, told them to do. He instructed them to “fill the jars with water,” and then “draw some out.”

You can’t stand idly by waiting and hoping for change. It is not President Obama’s or any one else’s responsibility to bring you change. Change is a process, and your road to healing is a process; and process is a course of action. Ask for divine guidance which requires quiet time with you, and then MOVE with unbridled faith and energy.

Raise Your Energy. EVERYTHING is energy. You want to raise the abundance in your life, raise your energy. How? Incorporate lively, positive music into your life. Dance like you’ve never danced before. Shout life-changing declarations at the top of your lungs with great enthusiasm. Pray, Mediate. Laugh. Sing. And, when life tries to slap you down, jump up and slap it back. Declare, I AM Invincible, I AM an Overcomer, I AM more than a Conqueror. Get excited. Be excited, and Remain excited.

If you take these first steps, remain consistent, dedicated and focused I promise you will embark on a life-changing journey of happiness, love, and abundant living.

You are not a victim. Begin your journey toward victory today.

Psalm 17:5

Uphold my steps in Your paths, that my footsteps may not slip.

Why Victimization Is So Not Cool

• It decreases your self-esteem and self-worth
• It gives your personal power to someone else
• It always sees life from a negative perspective – the glass half empty
• It always self-negates and self-sabotages
• It causes depression and fosters oppression
• It sees discrimination and evil in every person
• It keeps you looking back
• It promotes weakness and dependency
• It negates your inner abundance
• It feeds on pain & darkness
• It thrives and feeds on fear
• No one wants to be around someone who is always the victim

Why Leaving Victimization Behind is Way Cool

• It increases your self-esteem and self-worth
• It empowers you
• It lets you see life from a positive perspective – the glass half full
• It self promotes and brings about self-sufficiency and self-realization
• It produces a fulfilling, joy-filled life
• It acknowledges the good in every person
• It keeps you looking forward and working toward your goals
• It promotes happiness and good vibration
• It helps you realize your inner abundance and realize your purpose
• It reflects Energy & Light
• It thrives and feeds on faith
• Everyone wants to be with this person; in fact, they attract fabulous people

Which life would you rather live? Many of us have had bad things happen to us. All of us go through difficult life-transition at some time in our lives. Far too many have had horrendous experiences and trials. And, it is always our choice, a decision on how we go forward. Will we use the experience to help and lift others and eradicate the wrongs of systems? Will we choose to advocate for truth and justice? Or, will we just play the victim role feelings sorry for ourselves, looking for attention and sympathy; forever angry with ourselves and the world?

That abusive relationship, that injustice, that heinous crime done to you did not come as a surprise to your Creator. He knew it was going to happen. He is all knowing. He also knew He made you strong enough to go through it. My mom has always said, “What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.”  Well, there were times when I felt like I was going to die—I wanted to just to get out of the situation.

Just know when the crushing feels like you just can’t take it any more…when it feels like if one more “bad” thing happens it’s going to take you out, just when you plead, “God please take this cup from me,” that’s exactly when the Glory of God will come in taking you over and bringing you forward into your purpose and the calling He had for you before the foundation of this world.

Crazy, it may seem; but true. And, even in your going forward you may fall and become the victim again, either by circumstance or because your past experiences have you believe it. Just  Get Up; Brush Yourself Off; and get right back in the game of life again.

You are Not A Victim

Revelation 3:21

Those who are victorious will sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat with my Father on his throne.

Victim? For Real?

Well, here we go again. Another story on the news of a liberal politician proclaiming they are the victim when in actuality, they are nothing more than a big-mouthed bureaucratic that doesn’t have a solution so they have resorted to name calling. But, this time they’ve run into someone who doesn’t give a rip, someone not conditioned to DC’s rhetoric and games, some who’s not backing down.

I am speaking, specifically, of an event that is getting way too much publicity than it deserves. Congressman Allen West, who I wish would through in his hat for the Presidential Election 2012 today, sent an email to Congresswoman Wasserman Schultz.  In that email, he used some very strong adjectives to describe Congresswoman Wasserman: vile and despicable were his words I believe. It was a private email. Wasserman Schultz released the email to the public, immediately. And now, she and some of her democratic cohorts want an apology.

From what I understand from Congressman West’s statement on FOX News (or Lord, not FOX News) there is history between the two. Congressman West reported Congresswoman Wasserman Schultz was responsible for the release of thousand’s of emails with his social security number during his run for republication office in South Florida. I believe that’s deplorable and reprehensible. From what I understand, DNC Chairwoman, Wasserman Schultz, was also responsible for the release of Mrs. West’s work address in another email to thousands of Wasserman Schultz’ left-winged constituents. I believe that is vile. He then reported she was responsible for a demonstration in front of his office during his campaigning calling him a misogynist. I call that a cheap shot.

These words came from Congressman West’s very own mouth in an interview. I choose to believe him over any Politian any day. Congresswoman Wasserman Schultz stated in a separate interview that Congressman West was buckling under the pressure–A 22-year military professional officer serving recently in Iraq and Afghanistan receiving the Medal of Valor was buckling under the pressure. Really Congresswoman?

But because he didn’t back down, because he stood up to her, she is crying victim and has asked for a public apology. Because he refuses to engage in the bureaucratic bull $@!% on Capitol Hill, has called a spade a spade, and confronted her, in private no less, she’s upset. She has attempted to position him a perpetrator and herself a victim.

Congresswoman Wasserman Schultz what purpose does this serve? Is this empowering other women or is this further proliferation of a victimization platform?

Listen, in my old neighborhood if you called someone a name to their face or behind their back, you’d better be prepared to back it up. And again, the email was a private email. She chose to make it public. Ms. Wasserman Schultz, like my former obnoxious boss in L.A. once told me, “If you want to play with the big dogs, you better learn how to piss into the wind.”

Man-up Congresswoman! You are not the victim. I think if anyone has been victimized it’s been your constituents in South Florida. Please, stop playing political games with peoples lives and come up with real solutions for very real problems.

Hebrews 4:12

For the word of God is living, and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing even to the dividing of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and quick to discern the thoughts and intents of the heart.

A Ticked-off Advocate Speaks Her Mind about Victimization

While in the past few weeks I have decided to no longer do business as I have in the past, I have also told myself that I would no longer mince my words or pussyfoot around with people’s lives. This is not to say that I have in the past; however, when you blog, have a website or comment on Facebook, when you are in the limelight, you feel obligated to be sensitive, polite and

Victory Is Yours

politically correct. You believe you shouldn’t offend your audience.

However, if anyone reading this piece were to interview some of my ex-clients (I am so humbly proud to say ex) they would say at some time or another I pissed them off. They’d probably easily remember me getting under their skin. They’d recall how we yelled back and forth at one another and talked over each other. Some would tell you they phoned my boss at the OCRM to report me for not giving them all the tools, gifts or entitlements they believed they needed. Or, as one of my favorite clients, who is now a friend, did—called my boss because the case manager whom I replaced promised to take care of her and her family and I said, “bull!”

I personally didn’t give a rat’s you-know-what about the promises made to her. I was looking at an intelligent, beautiful young woman who had everything going for her; but, instead she was perfectly comfortable going from one program to another believing that was all she was worthy of having and doing.

It wasn’t the only time that I made her angry. I also made her angry when she told me she was intentionally choosing to make the same stupid decision, over and over again. That was seeking out abusive mates. Well, she didn’t exactly put it that way. After me telling her I was going to pray and declare that she would no longer have any desire for the loser guys she was picking, she kind of said, (paraphrased) “I don’t want you to pray for me because I enjoy my [irrational, absurd, stupid] behavior.”  Adjectives added by yours truly. She stomped off and refused to connect with me for her weekly accountability sessions. I, honestly, saw through her pain and her hurt and knew her words were just that— words. But also honestly, I had far too many cases to manage and didn’t feel it my personal responsibility to track her down. But, this I knew. I had prayed and either she’d get mad and drop off my case load or she’d get mad and move her life forward.

Several weeks later, I received a call. “Can we meet?” She had come to the crazy conclusion that she was good enough, worthy enough (even though these weren’t her words) and believed my prayers for her had helped her lose desire to pursue or be pursued by the losers of her past. “What the $%@! did you do?” she questioned as soon as I was seated across from her.

I laughed. I had messed up her world.

You see, I believe as long as we coddle clients, patients and loved ones—as long as we allow them to be victims of abuse and life, we not only permit but perpetuate their behavior and enable them to be poor, weak, disempowered individuals (whether women or men) believing they are unworthy of anything better, living their pathetic lives as such.

It has been said that people like me, people with my belief “mess other people up.” Well, you know something. Good! If messing them up will cause them to get up of their glorious asses and do something different—Good! My success record, my rate of recidivism speaks for itself.

I do not believe a woman or a man has to cycle six, seven or ten times and/or get their brains beat out before they can find the power to leave. I do not believe they have to have money to leave. I do not even believe they have to enter an agency shelter. However, I believe they do have to first believe in themselves: that they are WORTHY and they are FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made by an omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient God.

I do believe they must find a strong and powerful support system—someone who has been through it to help them walk though it and out of it. Not someone who talks about it, has studied it or read about it; but, someone who has lived their hell. They have to find someone like a Susan Murphy Milano, Anny Jacoby, or I—someone who has not only survived but has over-come and beat all odds and is willing to walk with them, strengthen their soul, and feed their spirit. Someone who can show them how while they work and fight with everything in their own personal God power to get the hell out of their degrading, humiliating and pitiful situation.

Victim? No you are not! Your situations and/or experiences do not make you. The same as your occupation, career or where you live does not make you. If you are in an undesirable situation, you are simply an individual, male or female, who is going through a challenging life transition—possibly horrendously challenging. You may have forgotten who and what you are. Life has possibly dealt you a hard blow or two; maybe even several probably starting with childhood, and you have come to believe these illusions and shadows are you and what you are. Not so!

I won’t pat your little head or rub your bended back. I’m not going to let you feel sorry for yourself. Nor am I going to let you believe you’re entitled to anything. I’m not going to blame you either and say it’s your fault. Whose fault it is doesn’t matter. But this is what I am going to do. I’m going to teach you that you are somebody. You are someone very, very special. I am going to help you understand you are here for a very powerful and specific purpose. I will prove to you that you are worthy and go on to show you there is nothing to fear but fear itself.

If you wait for someone to empower you, you will be waiting until your hell freezes over. And, it won’t freeze! It won’t stand still. The only way for the abuse, humiliation and dread to end is to make an empowered decision to do something for you. And, when you’re tired and weary, know that you can do all things and every thing through Christ Jesus who is your strength. Listen, He will never leave you or forsake you. You know why? You are in Him and He is in You so you can’t leave one another.

And when someone tells you, you have to be a victim or it’s okay to be a victim or there is nothing you can do or, or, or, or…..you stand with your shoulders back and say, “I AM More than a Conqueror—I AM an Over-comer. I AM a VICTOR.”

Empowering yourself requires action. Learn to protect yourself. Learn to take care of yourself. Learn to depend on no one but yourself. (I personally would include God in the equation I don’t care what agencies say.) Want to know why and how I can be so adamant and arrogant, so bold and audacious with my words?

Here’s three reasons why:

• This 5’3, 105 pound (back in the day) black girl who grew up in the South Bronx, who got pregnant at 20 and then found herself lonely, poor and disempowered one day went down to social services and they, the government, told me to go home and get pregnant. I made too much money. Six-hundred dollars a month was too much money. That’s when I got ticked and waged a war.

• When I was thirty-something and my five-foot obnoxious boss in L.A. told me I’d never be anything or get anywhere because I wasn’t political, that’s when I got ticked, again, and waged a war.

•  And, when my alcoholic, emotionally abusive husband of seventeen years (the man I had washed dirty underwear, cooked, cleaned and shopped for while working 10 hours a day) told me he’d choose his bottle over me any day that’s when I really got pissed and waged a war.

This is what makes me an expert. I’ve lived it and have come through it miraculously and triumphantly. These are only a few of my personal battles. You see every time, a person, a situation, or a challenge attempted to destroy me, I’d resurrect twice as tall and strong and overcome it. When someone told me I couldn’t or shouldn’t, I said, “Bet your ass I will,” and I did.

I have made a well-thought, educated decision to not pursue my purpose the same way I have in the past years as I said in opening. But, I promise you I am not a victim and neither are you.  I will continue to speak out, and continue to speak life into what has been pronounced dead. I will continue to encourage and motivate women to empower themselves. I will continue to speak against disingenuous, disempowering, disabling systems that continue to perpetuate weakness and victimization. I will continue to expose the shams and the imposters. I’ll do it, and I will do it in the strength and in the might of Jesus and our Almighty God. I won’t do it in anger, but I’ll do it in love because love conquers all!

I dare to say that the women and families that I’ve assisted would add this: that when they decided to love themselves, I loved them more. When they decided to take a step for themselves, I took two. When they decided they were sick and tired and weren’t going to take it any more, I was right there beside them just as pissed and ticked as they were—ready to fight as an advocate, a voice, a partner, a friend. Most of these same women and families, I am proud to say, continue to make great strides and accomplishments today.

You are not a victim! You are Victorious.

I hope I’ve pissed you off. And if I have, just like I heard in my own heart one afternoon while on my knees crying, belly aching and vomiting all over God, “Get up and do something! I gave you the power.” Make a declaration, make a phone call, set an intention, make a plan, pack your bags…but crying out loud DO something!

In love, light and healing

Phillipians 3:13-14

Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified. Do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

Look for passionate, audacious, powerful posts 365 days of the year or, most of the days anyway starting July 22.